Cultivated Comedian Gifts

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

Motorherd

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

A centi-stampede.

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"

Keister Island

"It's weeder's elbow."

Farm Humor.

Theron Heir hands off the Rudy Park writing duties to long-time artist Darrin Bell. I'm scared. Rudy Park is my baby. I know what you mean. It must feel like the first time you had me babysit your kid. There were tears, maybe a small fire … I may have forgotten to change him … You mean my two kids. The point is, he survived. More or less.

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

"You planted only beans and corn last year, right Herman...?"

Dairy. You're called "ruminants" because you chew your cud --- It's not an excuse to overthink everything.

A Cowpat A cow patting another cow

The leatherhosen thief strikes again!

Toilet ducks!

'Will you knock it off. Your set wasn't that bad.'

Political Hipsters

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

Tallit barcode

"I've been watching British shows on hulu. They're strange."

'Sam, you either rebuild these gutters or you can get another veterinarian.'

"I wonder if Eminem would like to come and have a go at our neighbours..."

Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul.

"Watering the sidewalk, eh?"

"Geez. Dude, is that steel wool?"