Cultivator Of Laughs Gifts

"It's weeder's elbow."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"I don't know whether to be mad that you had water this whole time or impressed with your commitment to the joke."

King and Jester

'I see we've got some techies in tonight.'

No offense, Doctor, but I'm feeling kinda rushed.

"Ok, ok, how's everyone feeling tonight besides a thousand dollars poorer?"

'Right, now learn this trick...'

"Hmm, well, I wouldn't worry too much. This condition is very common in your profession."

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"...dry your eyes, m'boy, and always remember: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, and the world laughs AT you."

Tragedy and Material

'I've written you a song' - 'Oh, that's very kind of you. What's it called?' - 'It's called 'I'll stay with you forever baby.'' - 'How sweet. Let me hear it...' - 'Ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai, ai,

'Well, so far the only ones to answer our fondue party invitation are the rats in our basement.'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'That's odd. For most people, getting a pet helps lower blood pressure.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

'Oh yeah, I forgot.'

Kid has pot stuck on his head.

'You are here' T-shirt,

'Oh dear, it looks like the men have been talking about work again.'

Bucky's dream of becoming a stand-up comedian ended abruptly the very first time he stepped into the spotlight.

"It's just the milk talking."

'Sir, making mistakes is a craft, but making things up the way we do is art.'

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

Isaac Newton's brother, Bobo, discovers levity.

'No, we do not make change.'

Theron Heir hands off the Rudy Park writing duties to long-time artist Darrin Bell. I'm scared. Rudy Park is my baby. I know what you mean. It must feel like the first time you had me babysit your kid. There were tears, maybe a small fire … I may have forgotten to change him … You mean my two kids. The point is, he survived. More or less.

Ross Noble

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

Fish Pedicure

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'