Culinary Hygiene Humor Pillows

'Today's special is that the cook finally cleaned the grill.'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Then get under cover before you are struck by lightning.

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Ohhh...pick me pick me!!"

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Chef copy robot

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"Carpe pizza"

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

ABC Vice Company: Employees Must Squash Hands Before Returning to Work

'Do you want toast with that?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'