Food Hygiene Humorous Pillows

Happy Hour legal loopholes!

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"States of tofu"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Deliboys

Chef copy robot

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

Sisyphus Sawyer

"I'll have the vegetable lasagne, hold the vegetables."

'Well you asked for Al dente.'

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"That's just great! Enough with the public displays of affection!"

Preserved

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"Hallelujah!"

'Glass of hot water please, I want to wash the cutlery'

Stay at home food pyramid

"Ooh, you’ve got a little piece of retiree caught in your teeth."

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

'I made your favorite -- dinosaurkraut!'