Culinary Canine Controller Pillows

"Down."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

Am Awful Crammer.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

Dog Day Afternoon

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

A woman's work is never done!

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"We need to put in more bones."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Recipes.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'You reach an age where shredded homework is a lot easier to digest.'

"General Tso and his chicken"

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'To cook is to dare!'

'Say hon, the pizza's burning...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Hello? Animal control?'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

Alexander the Greater.

"You're training puppy to be housebroken? Looks like she already knows how to break a house!"

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

"You were right, Mom. The new leash has really cured her pulling problem."

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"I need some assistance here."