Culinary Canine Lover Pillows

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"She doesn't eat raw zebra... Where can we get Alaska wild salmon in cream truffle sauce in the middle of Africa?"

Dog Chow Mein

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"Could we have a doggy bag please?"

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

"I need some assistance here."

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

"We'll have the people food."

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

Cooking shows for dogs

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"Not only do these new treats taste like table scraps, they're also good for you."

"Have you got a book about the proper way of feeding a dog?"

"Well-done coming right up."

"First rules of chef school: no serving table scraps, and if food falls on the floor, leave it."

The Four Basic Food Groups - Dry, moist, biscuit, bone.

Sure, it's nice when Master gives us a bone, but frankly, I would prefer a juicy steak...

'I'm thinking celebrity pet's cookery nightmare make-over...'

"I'll have whatever I'm hearing being opened in the kitchen."

"The meal was superb...My compliments to the shep."

Dog dreams of dinner.

"It's a new cereal for dogs."

"I'll have what she's having."