Culinary Dogs Pillows

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"We need to put in more bones."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

Dog Chow Mein

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

Recipes.

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"That tasted like s**t. We'll have another order of it."

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

"I need some assistance here."

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'