Culinary Artist For Canines Pillows

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"We need to put in more bones."

Dog Chow Mein

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Homemade dog biscuits.

Recipes.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

"I need some assistance here."

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

Water. Food. Garnish.

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

Cooking shows for dogs

Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?