Canine Culinary Artist Pillows

Dog Chopsticks

'Next, on Cooking With Fido, we'll atempt a recipe that. . . Oh who am I kidding. I'm gonna eat most of this stuff before it even makes it to the oven.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

Homemade dog biscuits.

Dog Chow Mein

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Recipes.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"I need some assistance here."