Canine Culinary Artist Gifts

Dog Chopsticks

'Next, on Cooking With Fido, we'll atempt a recipe that. . . Oh who am I kidding. I'm gonna eat most of this stuff before it even makes it to the oven.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Dog Chow Mein

Recipes.

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"I need some assistance here."

'Rubber pork chops. Excellent choice, Sir. With or without squeakers?'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

'See what happens when you let him cook.'