Doggy Culinary Artist Gifts

Homemade dog biscuits.

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

"We need to put in more bones."

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Recipes.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"What's so amazing? It's a paint by the numbers artist kit."

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'

"I've got a complaint about the table scraps you are feeding me...cut down on the fatty tissues...I'm gaining weight!"

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

"I think I'll go for the Barf Bits du Jour."

"I need some assistance here."

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

"Oh, come on, Honey, he's a dog...he's not gonna notice that we gave him cheaper dog food!"

Cooking shows for dogs

'Patience. Gentle mixing awakens the delicate flavors and presents far more agreeably than straight-out-of-the-can.'