Dog Chef Gifts

Recipes.

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Homemade dog biscuits.

Dog Chow Mein

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

"I need some assistance here."

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

Cooking shows for dogs

Can I have another free biscuit for my dog? Sure. Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits? You sure this is for your dog? Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

Water. Food. Garnish.