Doggie Chef Gifts

Dog Food

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

Homemade dog biscuits.

'This one is very effective. It sounds just like a can opener.'

Dog Chow Mein

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

Recipes.

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'Sorry, chubs, but those little circles you do before lying down don't cut it as exercise.'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

Dog Food Groups

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'

"I need some assistance here."

Parping dog.

"This makes a nice change from 'Fetch'!"

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

Cooking shows for dogs