Canine Chef Gifts

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"I always add a few breath mints to his food."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Animal magnetism.

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'Patience. Gentle mixing awakens the delicate flavors and presents far more agreeably than straight-out-of-the-can.'

"I need some assistance here."

No caption. (Dog delivery man delivers a box labeled "Scraps" to dog customer.)

Water. Food. Garnish.

Dog Food Pyramid. Meat. Scraps.

"We need to put in more bones."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Dog Food

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

Homemade dog biscuits.

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Dog Chow Mein

Recipes.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

Posh dog views expensive food and wine.

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'I don't care if top breeders do recommend it - I am not going to eat dog food!'

'I was hoping chef's surprise would be fish'

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'