Dog Treat Chef Gifts

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"We need to put in more bones."

Homemade dog biscuits.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, what's that YOU'RE eating?!'

'David discovered that the New & Improved Dog Food was more New & Improved than his New & Improved Canned Soup.'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

Recipes.

"She's eating in tonight."

'She's killing me with kindness!'

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"They say I'm spoiled, whatever that means."

"Your 'presentation' could use some work."

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"I need some assistance here."

"After you've wished once for food, you can stop using your other wishes on food."

'I hope your 'kittycat gourmet delight' tastes better than my 'doggy sirloin supreme!''

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"I always add a few breath mints to his food."

'Feeding dog food to dogs is NOT ethnic stereotyping!'

'Patience. Gentle mixing awakens the delicate flavors and presents far more agreeably than straight-out-of-the-can.'