Cryonics Gifts

'He's been frozen, and left everything to himself.'

Californians Abroad.

'What's so unusual about freezing dead bodies?'

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

Alaskan Cryogenic Society.

A businessman sits behinds a desk with a nameplate that reads "Charles F. Baxter - Previously frozen".

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"Blast it, Perkins, not again!"

'I'm looking seriously into cryogenics.'

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"I hear they can freeze you until they discover a cure."

"Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics."

Ace Cryogenics (Giant toaster).

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

'We melt you and then, in the future, freeze you, pop in the carrot and voilá!'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

'Stick to it. There's a future in cryogenics.'

I'm sorry but we do not take bookings for Presidential terms of office.

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

'Cryogenics, eh? Nice try. Think they'll find a cure before your head thaws?'

"Short term Trump presidency cryogenic stays sure have improved business."

"Your food is frozen your sperm is frozen...why shouldn't you be frozen?"

"My only suggestion is we freeze it and hope a future generation can repair it."

'I'd like to be frozen until global warming ends.'

'I'd like to be frozen until health insurance will cover my pre-existing conditions.'

"Apparently, he made a last minute deal with one of those 'cryogenic companies'?"

'Our program includes a deep freeze, and a giant freezer bag.'

'Your food is frozen, your sperm is frozen - why shouldn't you be frozen?'

A staff member getting his ice cream out from a Cryogenics body storage container, using it as a staff work fridge

Wait Here - Froze in a Block of Ice

Cryogenic Cookery

'We need to know which era you'd like to be de-frosted in.'

'I want to be awakened every year when football season starts.'

'Mr. Harsbeck, what's all this I hear about you putting your tax returns on ice?'

'Okay, I'll fill out the form, but make it quick!'