Cruise Ship Performer Gifts

Sinking cruise ship, with band member saved by floating on cello.

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

"I've passed your complaints along to the captain."

"Cheer up Skip - worse things happen at sea..."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

'Oh my God! HONEY look! There's a HUGE SHIP running aground!'

'Ok, I won't let on we're sinking until the water reaches earlobes - then someone's going to hear about it!'

'Excuse me, Sir. Would you please let go of your streamer?'

Castaway hides from cruise ship

'Feeling a little sick, dear?'

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

'Putting up a deck chair is a real bugger at the best of times.'

The boat anchor which reaches the bottom of the world

The ocean is no place for a star.

Bon Voyage

"I don't think I'm going to be in today, I got a bit wrecked at the weekend."

"But Darling you always wanted to swim with dolphins"

"So, what did you used to do?"

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

"I told you when we booked this vacation that Valahalla is a luxury spacecraft not a place where dead Vikings go to party!"

Zip it down small before you email. Are you kidding? It's 1132 feet long!

"If I were a carpenter"

'We're running low on food, everyone. I think we should cut out the 'All-you-can-eat' buffets.'

New York Sightseeing Cruises

New US restrictions against Cuba

"Well, my pension was tied up in the cruise liner industry."

'Edna is the least synchronized synchronized swimmer I've seen.'

An upside-down cruise liner in a bottle.

Man overboard!