Cruise Critic Gifts

'It was rated on all the travel websits, best economy cruise.'

'An authentic Viking experience, you said. The cruise of a lifetime, you said. It'll be awesome, you said.'

'I sentence you to thirty days in jail or one week on a low budget cruise.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"And I thought we had a bad cruise."

"Show-off!"

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

Pussycat says to Owl: 'This is rubbish, can we PLEASE do Ibiza next year?'

'Dead in the water! There was no power and the mess and stink was beyond nauseating!. . . But, enough about congress!'

'Well, there goes the neighborhood!'

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

'What the hey, Lorrain This is the last time we use your travel agent,'

'In retrospect, we should never have booked this titanic-themed cruise.'

'That's the last time you talk me into one of these party cruises!'

"Can you believe my parents? Taking a 2-week cruise on my future inheritance!"

"Man, am I glad to be off that ship. I mean, between the constant moving up and down and the terrible sleeping quarters I was about to go nuts. And, don't even get me started on the food. That food. Am I right?"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Technically, it's a mammal."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Great cruise. When does the buffet open?'

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

"Try to get him away from that bloody whip...Pass it on."

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Ticket and passport, please."

The Red Carpet

How Patrick Moore chooses a hotel..."Hmmm four stars".

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"