Crowd Manager Gifts

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Justice for a heckler.

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

Large Whist Party in Small Room

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

'Basically, my study challenges the more the merrier theory.'

Social Networking Explained.

Stadium usher of the month.

'If you think of your target group as a 'tribe,' then from these comments, your site is Little Big Horn, and you're Custer.'

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

'You don't have to say hello every time we pass.'

'Well, the toughest part of the fight is over . . . getting though the hostile crowd.'

' Pol Meeting'

Reverse speech

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Impressive brawl skills."

Who needs Life? I've got Facebook!

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

@Village

'I was malled.'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"It's great to be a part of an online community that shares your interests!"

The public and private lives of a football steward

Security guard disperses football team.