The Crowd Controller Gifts

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Victorian Pub Scene

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Justice for a heckler.

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

"Gah! Too many people!"

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

Stadium usher of the month.

Mountaineer finds a computer at the top of the mountain.

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'Well, the toughest part of the fight is over . . . getting though the hostile crowd.'

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Reverse speech

' Pol Meeting'

"Impressive brawl skills."

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

'I was malled.'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

'I still say making correct decisions would be a better way of preventing crowd abuse, Arthur.'

'Don't bother to sit down - we're leaving early to avoid the crowd.'

Greed Fair

"All the atmosphere of Murray Mound but in the comfort of your own home!"

"It's not the crowd control that worries me...it's the changing ends at half time"

The public and private lives of a football steward

Security guard disperses football team.