The Crowd Controller Gifts

'That concludes my prepared remarks. I'll take questions that fit my prepared answers.'

Crowded Ice Fishing

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

"It's great things are back to normal, except that there are people everywhere."

Victorian Pub Scene

'Marcy, Ted - so glad you could come! Let me direct you upstairs to the overflow room.'

Justice for a heckler.

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Noah's Ark gets a bit overcrowded.

"Gah! Too many people!"

We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea.

Man asking for a job keeping order on polling day

Stadium usher of the month.

Reverse speech

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

'Well, the toughest part of the fight is over . . . getting though the hostile crowd.'

' Pol Meeting'

Mountaineer finds a computer at the top of the mountain.

"Impressive brawl skills."

'Goodbye Granny, see you at Easter...'

'Don't bother to sit down - we're leaving early to avoid the crowd.'

'I was malled.'

'It's great for crowd control on walkabouts'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

'I still say making correct decisions would be a better way of preventing crowd abuse, Arthur.'

"It's not the crowd control that worries me...it's the changing ends at half time"

Greed Fair

"All the atmosphere of Murray Mound but in the comfort of your own home!"

The public and private lives of a football steward

Security guard disperses football team.

Bus stop: A full bus stop with people standing holding onto handles like they would on a crowded bus.