Cropping T-Shirts

"Millions of acres of farmland are taken out of production every year...a lot of them by me."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Glastonbury. After.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

A Good Batch.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

'Remember only you can prevent forest fires.'

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Apples for sale

baby sweetcorn...

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"If you ask me, wearing these things only makes them nervous."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Humans...What is their purpose?

Chase me, chase me cows.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'The circle is complete!'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Transylvanian backpackers.

Lactose Intolerant