Critter Companion Gifts

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

"So you're anthropomorphic too? It's a small world."

'I'm telling you: They all wear red and run after me on horse-back ..I'll bring them your way next time..'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

'When humans say they love animals, they mean pets. They sure don't mean us!'

"Hey, I thought you two weren't getting serious!"

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Canine Companion

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Yessir, Ben us fly fisherman answer to a higher calling.'

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Hush puppy.

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

A man and his dog

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

Happy.