Crime Show Junkie Gifts

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"If this doesn't get you indicted, nothing will."

Bowling Pin: 'There, THAT'S him!! Number 4! That's the CRAZY Psycho!'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Mondays.

Violence on TV.

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

University Soapflakes

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Now that's a win."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Dancing with the Star Wars

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

He loves the water.

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Miami Mice

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

Mog The Week

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'