Crime Show Fanatic Gifts

"Did he have any known enemies?"

"Thursday is out. I have jury duty."

"No this isn't the old 'good cop, bad cop routine'. This is the old bad cop, worst cop routine!"

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

'Off hand, I'd say it's a head trauma caused by a blunt instrument.'

A pinata identifies children in a lineup.

"As soon as he comes around the corner we rub him out ok?"

'If you give up the right to remain silent, you get to keep all bragging rights.'

'No I'm sorry madam, this is the celebrity murder squad'.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, does this look like the face of a murderer?"

We really have to stop letting him watch the news.

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Identification

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

Good Cop - Bad Cop.

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."

"He's been dead some time, Chief"

"I've got just the place -white sand beaches, crystal blue waters, and no extradition treaty."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"No, I'm not wearing this because of the corona virus. Guess again!"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

"I hope the court will take into account the fact that bank robbery is my client's only vice."

'Then I grabbed the ice pick - I mean, pickax. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up.'

'My client may have planned the string of robberies, but never intended to do them. She just likes playing with string.'

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

'Would you believe a Roller Boot Sale?'

Grilling a thick sausage: 'Now, don't go playin dumb with us.'

Hard & Fast Alibis

'Ok, ok...I appreciate the enthusiasm, but what I really need is a volunteer to play the 'good cop'...'

"I won't be at work today. My feet are stuck in a tub of cement!"

'I have your DNA results.. but finish eating, I don't want to spoil your meal.'

"Good cop/bad cop/mime cop."

Here Lies John Doe

C.S.I. Hollywood: 'Sir, the victim was identified as Superman!'