Crime Show Enthusiasts Gifts

"Oh, here—take a penny and make it an even three hundred."

'Take out' Venn Diagram

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Now that's a win."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Police film evidence

"#notguilty."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

'I hate frisking magicians!'

He loves the water.

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

"Okay so which one stole your cereal?"

Miami Mice

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"I can't be sure...I only got a quick look."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'