Crime Journalist Gifts

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

"Dang...this guy isn't a spree killer or a religiously motivated terrorist! He's just a normal criminal. Switch off the camera."

"Whack him. And if you can't whack him, redact him."

Shootings in New York.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

The Philip Marlow family

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'Why is it always about me?'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Try to think of this as a learning experience.'

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Ignorance of the Law

'We've got a new DNA database...'

Gangster's To-Do List

'Make it look like an accident.'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"