Crime Comedies Fan Gifts

As Car Jackers Go I'd Say they were Probably Amateurs!

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Minority Report

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Tree Mobsters. 'I didn't hear anything. Did you hear anything?' 'I didn't hear anything.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

"Apparently we have an informant in our midst."

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Not much cop are you!'

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

FBI Message: Are you still working under-covers?

'Looks like a love affair gone bad.'

'Our crime figures are down!'

Perp Walk Fashion Show

Law 'N' Order

'That's him. Number 3 is the one who attacked me.'