Crib Champion Gifts

"Hush, little baby, don’t you cry ... ever."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The child is very illogical'

Coping with a strong-willed child

"Same old same old. How about you?"

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

A Tit for Tat.

Fitness Programme for babies

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

"Having nannies really changes you."

'Honey, what's wrong?! Why are you crying?'

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

Baby Race.

Mother racing to work for a company with day care and a health club.

'I can't figure out whether I'm a secretary or an executive - I do executive work, but get secretarial pay.'

'This should soothe any hurt feelings.'

Houdini's infancy.

'When the bough broke, did the daycare center's insurance rates go up?'

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

'He's won an exotic holiday to Easter Island and it's gone straight to his head.'

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

"Being a mum is a full-time job."

'I haven't been campaigning for a creche all these years for nothing - you're going!'

"Where would young families be without grandparents as unpaid childminders?"

"Because our constituents keep hurting our feelings!"

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

Slept on the plane and now in horrible pain?

'The company have been very accommodating in allowing him to train in office hours.'

"I'm not surprised that lady's so fat. . . The baby's been blowing her up for hours."

"Today we practiced counting to five, and the teacher practiced counting to ten."

"The latest reports show life expectancy going down for the first time."

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