Credit Card Humor Lover Gifts

'I know how you feel, little brother. I was the last one in my first grade class to be preapproved for a credit card, too.'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

Out of control

"At least we're consistent ... "

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

In case of falling markets break glass.

The Decline of the Euro.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

Federal Guidelines

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

Budget Cuts

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"

"How much do I need? How much you got?"