Credit Card Humor Lover Pillows

'I know how you feel, little brother. I was the last one in my first grade class to be preapproved for a credit card, too.'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Out of control

'A temporary solution would be to white out this part of the chart.'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

'Eureka! I found the gene that causes people to sell low and buy high!'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

The Decline of the Euro.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

In case of falling markets break glass.

"Cook the books al dente so the auditor will have a little something to crunch."

Bank notes coming out of a safe.

'Due to current market conditions, I'm recommending that my clients invest heavily into pain medication companies.'

Ireland and its Celtic Tiger request some donations

Federal Guidelines

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'We stopped to smell the darn roses here!'

Budget Cuts

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'The market dropped on the news some IRS refund checks said 'do not cash until next Friday'.'

'Greece is up for auction on eBay - and there's no bidders.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"At least we no longer have the pressure of handling so much money."

"Let us pray for the possessed...and the re-possessed"

"I'm afraid with your income I couldn't possibly approve a loan of that size. Would you like a list of our approved loan sharks?"