Money Humor Enthusiast Pillows

'Looking for a quickie sir?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

British savings accounts

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Will work for ETFs

Loan Alley

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Money Bar.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Paper Profits Break Glass In Case of Emergency.

Jumping Wall Street.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'