Humorous Card Users Pillows

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Happy Valentine's Day

Strange Aftertaste birthday cards.

I need a Valentine card that proclaims undying love but doesn't commit me to anything.

"Before you go inside, give me a chance to explain the mess ..."

2After using the Internet all day, Brad doesn't like any kind of popup."

Tooty-Fruity

"Wow, I wish I'd thought of that! My last words were pretty naf."

"It's unrealistic for us to have a chimney, tree, or stockings, so you can forget about Santa."

Josh tests his theory that by driving backward through a quick-pass toll lane, he can get money ADDED to his credit card account.

'I'm looking for a card that says if I didn't get you this, I'd never hear the end of it.'

'Since we're bears, when can we start mauling people?'

"Do you take MasterCard?"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with fabulous new shoes!"

You gotta be pretty old to have nose hairs that long.

'Quick, Lassie, our credit cards are maxed! Get help!'

Greeting cards for street crazies.

'Why do I go out with a short, fat, bald guy like you? Well for one thing, you make me look good.'

Age Cards.

Gates of Heaven with a supermarket in background: 'Look! It really is heaven!'

"Psst - wanna buy some catnip...?"

Jack's Cards

'I know I don't have much saved up, but I really need to retire before the end of the month.'

'God bless daddy, mommy, sis and that golf course I bought with dad's credit card.'

'I'll pay cash, I only charge when I am enraged.'

Hello, thank you for calling Mistercard. We are experiencing heavy call volume. Your call will be answered in the next 17 hours. In the meantime, your interest payments are continuing to rise. Please enjoy the hold music. You gotta admire the audacity.

"Look out - there's a man with a club behind you."

'This is a unique case... I'm referring you to a quack.'

greeting cards.

You can now PAY FOR YOUR SINS by credit card.

'I know how you feel, little brother. I was the last one in my first grade class to be preapproved for a credit card, too.'

I'm all out of small change... Do you think it will accept Visa Card?