Creature Critique Gifts

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

Phoenix

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"He's left out the staples"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'Let's go around the room, and talk about the edgy, creative things we've done so far today.'

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

"Are you sure its supposed to look like that?"

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

'An important update..'

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

'Abstract painting.'

"That was a boring field trip."

You're not selling those silly upside-down tomato contraptions? I confess. They're fun! Fun? They're an affront to mother nature and common sense. A $3 seed packet grows enough for five families. Why sell over-priced fads? Mother nature never offered to pay my rent.

'GESUNDHEIT, EVERYBODY!', 'That's his idea of universal health care.'

Sick Exhibitionist

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

'Prototype number 18a/e, Adam and eve (paradise model) start again

'Thanks to me, you can save the money for the cat food from now on and put it into more reasonable investments!'

"A cat wouldn't answer."

Nude Defacing a Staircase.

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

'Nice Shooting.'

One man, one painting show!

'New Art'