Creation Story Aficionado T-Shirts

Eden. My name is Adam. Stop calling me "First Draft"!

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Victor Hugo

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'Where was the TSA?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"This is what's known as a book."

"Two of every known creature on the planet and you forgot the pooper-scooper?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

Hansel and Gretal

Jacques et Jille

The first week of the brainstorming session went slowly.

Alberich steals the gold

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"I'll bet she was worn out by the end of teacher's meeting day."

"Personally, I loved your novel. Unfortunately, our e-book editor says it just doesn't work on the little screen!"

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

Patents office.

"Shall we put it in play?"

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'