Crafting Wit Pillows

'Why do they have to be ivory knitting needles?'

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Do it yourself books.

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'To err is human... but to forgive is against company policy!'

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'Yes I think we did go to school together. Wasn't you the old headmistress?'

You trip on it, you buy it.

'He never listened to his mother!'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Sharp Eyes

"What's 'ET' short for. . . ?"

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'I'd better check it for punctuation before you give it to him.'

Male On Sunday

Bell Hop

You're Out Of Order

"Wow, I cannot remember what I was saying."

Bagel problems.

Beware of a first kiss that speaks volumes.

Cottage Cheese

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

'I thought I could dance...'

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

Change Of Heart

'Before we get into the scope, the breadth, the gravity and the cost of this mess...pour yourself a drink...'

'Dad a dachshund is really half a dog high and two dog long...'

"I beg to differ, Miss. My answer is correct. It's your question that's wrong."

"High Fashion"