Crafting With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

101 uses of a dead cat: knitting

Do it yourself books.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'Mum! Come and see the coffee-table I've made with my new tool-set!'

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

Knight with paint tin on his head.

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Man stands in front of rows of kangaroos next to a sign that reads "Final Clearance - Entire stock of kanagroos".

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

Outlaw Quilting Bees

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

Kid imagines shop project getting an A; teacher imagines the same project in his fireplace.

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

'How long have you been out of work? I've never seen a resume prepared in needlepoint.'

'Why do they have to be ivory knitting needles?'

Things You Say Wher You Are Officially Old - Volume # 1

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"I wrote you a poem about how much I want to sh*g you!"

"Now that the kids and grandkids are grown I can get back to more erotic embroidery."

Breakages must be paid for

'I need to unwind after that.'

Chestnut crafts

"It was a sweater when I began."

"You can't find the menswear department? Oh, I'm sorry, Sir- I was standing in front of it."

You gonna finish that?

Before Powerpoint Presentations

"You also get a choice of finishes ? flat, semigloss or satan."

'Wow! Look at that one! It's got a flaming aardvark on the label! That's got to be good!'

1001 Hairball Crafts

"Oh my god, I'm board!"

'Instead of BOGOFs, I'm going to offer FUCOFs.' 'Right, what does that stand for?' 'Stand for?'

Sale: You can charge it.

The Etsy Bitsy Spider. Silk scarf.

The Seam Reaper