Builder With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Stone henge swing.

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

Private work adjustments

'Mystery solved! Someone put the model of the building into the cupboard and the client took the salt cellar.'

"Is this your first bricklaying job, Kevin...?"

'He thinks we're watering down the cement.'

'Remind me to tell the crane driver to bring a flask tomorrow.'

'You have good taste in natural material usage, but your electrical work is substandard.'

Auto Mechanic's Confessional Booth

Worker takes Boss out in a wheelbarrow

Delay in construction works

"Listen George, in exchange for two bricklayers and three electricians I can let you have one seasoned plumber and one first round graduate from trade school." "Mnnn. Okay. But, only if you throw in ten Porta Potties." "Ah, John. Can we make it two first round graduates?" "Done."

'Perhaps it's not a good idea to build skyscrapers that reach this far up.'

Irish Bricklayer

"I'm getting notes of 2 x 4."

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'