Bridge Architect Humorist Pillows

Dinosaur Bridge

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

Town Planning Department

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

Comedy Rule

Tragedy and Material

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

Private work adjustments

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

'Mystery solved! Someone put the model of the building into the cupboard and the client took the salt cellar.'

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

"Is this your first bricklaying job, Kevin...?"

'Design brief.'