Bridge Architect Humorist Pillows

Dinosaur Bridge

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

Town Planning Department

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Think about it: If we blow up the bridge, they'll have to swim across again...'

'If the GPC built office blocks!'

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Private work adjustments

Comedy Rule

Tragedy and Material

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'That's gonna be a big job, boss.'

I like going across the frame of this solar energy facility we're building. I'm waling on a sunbeam!

Is the heating contractor mad about something? He just needs space to vent?

Build bridges, not walls. Unless it's housing. Then it's better to build walls.

Model Village/Realistic Model Village.

'Mystery solved! Someone put the model of the building into the cupboard and the client took the salt cellar.'

"Is this your first bricklaying job, Kevin...?"