Homeowner With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

'Su casa is now mi casa.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm getting a snack. That cheese you put on that trap is getting modly

"Careful. That house has a taser."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Welcome Association of Stage Builders.

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Pest Control

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

'Is the fire included?'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

A cock up of builders

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

'Satchel, life is like a can of tuna...'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"Apparently he told Chris Tarrant it was just enough to pay off his mortgage!"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'He's training for a career in law.'

Hey! Built-ins! Carpenter Ants: Best-Case Scenario.

'Better get used to it. I was just appointed to nine life terms to the bench.'

Bad Dog

"Tonight I'm going to bury this sucker so far underground he'll never find it."

Affordable housing

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"Looks like housing starts are up."