Courtship Comedy Fans Pillows

"There's gotta be a way of attracting the ladies that isn't so %$#@ exhausting."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Life is for the birds.

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Adam and Eve: Reconcilable Differences

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

His and Hers Wedding

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

Baby's first words.

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

'We're not following the poodle home.'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Fresh Lobster

Stenographer wants 15 minutes of court repeated

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

Well, I didn't know he was a dragon when I met him online!

"I remember when you used to whisper sweet nothings in my ear."

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"