Marriage Comedy Lovers Pillows

"But, Denise, if we stay married six more weeks, we can go into syndication!"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

Tongue in the ear...

His and Hers Wedding

'Butch, did you shoot my liberty valance?'

'No, but thanks for asking.'

"You might want to get that fly off your face."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

'I fu*@!Ng hate you!!!'

"Ah-h, her comes my better half now."

"No, Phil, I'm not grateful that we finally have some time alone."

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"Let's touch base again at three."

We would have come to you sooner, but he wouldn't ask for directions.

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

"And they all said, twenty five years ago, that our trial seperation wouldn't last!!"

'My husband's first name? Heck, I don't know! I call him `wimp` since we met the first time'!

'...and he hogs the sunny spot!'

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

"And that's another thing, when did you last take me out ?"

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

Google Translate for Marriagese

"Get with the program, Barry, the certificate clearly said, 'till death do we part'."

'Mind if we turn this off? I freckle easily.'

"Not only, she drives me crazy - she found me a car pool!"

"What ever happened to 'Never go to bed angry'?"

Married people live longer

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

"I deliberately married an archaeologist because I thought the older I got, the more interest you would show in me..."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'One kiss will turn me into a prince. But you won't like the stretch marks.'