Courtroom Cynic Gifts

BANKRUPTCY COURT, 'You mean that's it? -- I don't even get a complimentary ball-point pen?'

Sign reads: Couldn't get any compensation for damages within the last 3 weeks. Please hit me.

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

The Jose Padilla Experience

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

"Not guilty?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

"Can you hear me now?"

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

Clarence Thomas

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

"Your Honor, the witness, in my opinion, has failed to establish credibility."

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

Permission to approach. Granted. Denied.

Audiovisual law