Courtroom Skeptic Gifts

'What does the New York Times say about it?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Planet of the Lawyers

The Jose Padilla Experience

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

Yawning barristers in court

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"Not guilty"

Counsel's Opinion.

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."