Courtroom Skeptic Pillows

'What does the New York Times say about it?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Planet of the Lawyers

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

John W. Law., John W. Law Jr., Robert Law, Janet Law, Attorneys at Law

"Mr. McMurdo has been called 'guilty as the day is long.' And yet, do not biblical scholars tell us a day can mean many things?"

Yawning barristers in court

"Assisting me with this delicate procedure is Dr. Warren. He's one of the top specialists in avoiding malpractice suits."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

"At least he's honest about it..."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'For ever 'no-no' there's a legal 'yes-yes'.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

''Congress shall make no law'... now, I wonder what they meant by that...?'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Counsel's Opinion.

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

'Tragically, Mr. Cornwell was unable to afford a personal ethicist.'

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'The Supreme Court found the new law constitutional, but struck it down anyway because it's politically incorrect.'