Courtroom Critique Pillows

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Roving gang of judges dispensing their own brand of street justice.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"You can't plead cute."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"We make crime pay."

"#notguilty."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

The Jose Padilla Experience

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

Yawning barristers in court

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

Sue The Bastards

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'