Courtroom Critiquer Pillows

"Sure I shot him - but I shot him in good faith!"

'We deliver all the justice you can afford.'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

The Jose Padilla Experience

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Not guilty"

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

Clarence Thomas

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

"Can you hold on a sec? I just have to condemn this guy to death real quick."

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

Permission to approach. Granted. Denied.

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

Equal Time for All Christians

Jury Room

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

Audiovisual law