Courtroom Critiquer Gifts

"Sure I shot him - but I shot him in good faith!"

'We deliver all the justice you can afford.'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Thank you for the rewind, Miss Cooper. Now let us fast-forward to that fateful moment in February and hit the pause button."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Your honor, I intend to put the system on trial."

"Not guilty"

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

'Your honor, we are appealing on grounds the post-trial book deals didn't match the pre-trial publicity.'

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'I was afraid cameras in the court would lead to this.'

Clarence Thomas

Robert Macaire as a Barrister

"If the 'Disorderly Conduct' charge is dropped, your Honor, my client will plead guilty to the lesser charge of 'Zany Antics'."

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

'I need some time off. I just discovered that I'm suing myself.'

"My client pleads not guilty, by reason that everyone else is doing it."

'Your Honor, my client is incontinent to stand trail...'

'Ladies and Gentlemen of the press- what is your verdict...?'

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

Jury Room

Audiovisual law

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

"Hi from the US Supreme Court conservative majority...we hope you're all enjoying this campaign season!"

Supreme court chairs with IV bags