Legal Skeptic Pillows

"Wait, they might be lawyers!"

The Honorable Clarence Thomas

'...And they always talk about due process like it was a good thing!'

I don't brake for lawyers

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

UK border controls relaxed.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Politicians are from Uranus.

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You know things are screwed up when people take late-night comedians seriously and politicians as a joke.'

"Impartiality becomes you."

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

"Can you hear me now?"

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'

Counsel examining witness

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilty by reason of multiculturalism.'

Law Offices

Trump Indicted

'I seem to have brought the wrong brief case, your honor.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

'Why does everybody tell lies about me?'

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

'I need to see your restraining order.'

'The trouble with this country is that it is impossible to be completely legal.'