Courtroom Case Buff Gifts

"Henry is addicted to all of the Court programs."

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

Sue the Author 3PM

Planet of the Lawyers

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I think it's a subpoena!"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica—they've all been locked up. But you, Archie—I had higher hopes for you."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

Upholding the Law

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

Ignorance of the Law

Time is running out for Julian Assange.

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

'...can you tell me how to blame Obama for all that?'

Judge

Executing Detainees Using Waterboarding Evidence

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

'Great. Another trainee lawyer.'

"My agent."