Courtroom Buff Gifts

'Court house prices'

"You want to be a lawyer, do you? That could be construed as obstruction of justice!"

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

Sue the Author 3PM

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Planet of the Lawyers

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"According to his will, he wants his outstanding debts to be shared equally between the three of you."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'